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Isn’t this what douchebags always do? They can’t commit but tell you what a wonderful person you are and how they’ll miss you. Then once you’re well over them and happy in another relationship, (or happy on your own and finally realizing how much better off you are, take your pick) they come crawling back asking for another chance. It’s lame, it’s manipulative and it’s predictable. Anyway John Mayer is supposedly doing this to Jennifer Aniston. This is in the National Enquirer, but they’ve run a few exclusives before about Aniston’s lovelife (or they made them up, but they rang true) and I believe it. Here’s the story.

Jennifer Aniston is happily dating [Justin Theroux] but being barraged with text messages from [John Mayer] say sources.

“Jennifer is totally involved with Justin, and wants absolutely nothing to do with John,” revealed a friend.

“John broke Jen’s heart, but that doesn’t seem to faze him.

“He’s been relentless in his pursuit of Jennifer lately – texting her witty messages, sending love poems and calling to ask her out. But it’s been two years since they were together and Jen sees it as far too little too late.

“She feels she’s found a better, more responsible and reliable man.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, July 25, 2011]

I guess you can’t blame Mayer for trying, since Aniston took him back even after he blabbed to the paparazzi about how he broke up with her. It’s worth noting that Mayer gained some weight, not that there’s anything wrong with that since he’s an attractive guy either way before he opens his mouth. He’s not cutting his hair or shaving though and just looks like fresh hell lately. Meanwhile Aniston is frozen in time and remains very bangable, by most guys’ estimations. Like we may mock her for not switching it up much but she’s got a good formula going. Now she has a hot man by her side and can’t be bothered by Mayer. I hope she told him to f#ck off but you know that’s not her style. She probably just blinked a lot, called him back (since I doubt she texts) and engaged in small talk before she let him down easy, making some excuse that she was busy.

I have to give Mayer some credit for laying low lately. He hasn’t tweeted or blogged in months (from my quick look-over) and is just going about his business. Maybe he’s matured behind the scenes. We’ll see when he inevitably comes back. I give him four months, but seriously props to him for going this long.

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Aniston and Theroux are shown on 7/7/11. Header image from 2/22/09. Credit: WENN.com. Mayer is shown on 7/13/11. Credit: Matt Smith, PacificCoastNews.com

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